Why, hello! How are you all? Good? Enjoying life without me? I can tell. There's so much good energy flowing through the streets of Provo right now and I'm not a part of it! Boo. No worries, I'll be back before you know it. I hope everyone is taking it easy and rocking their scene! I certainly am. This week I got hit on by ten year olds. It. Was. AWESOME! I'm a cougar, eh? Hee hee. That was pervy. I'm sorry. No, we just laughed ourselves to death because a week before my favorite Native Canadian member was sitting in a lesson with us in all of her serene, Native Canadian wisdom, and suddenly she looks deep into our souls and says... "I'm a cougar, eh?" Ha ha! Best line of my mission. And it's true, she is a cougar. But that's a way different story. So we actually had the chance to legitimately use that line in a conversation this week after the incident with the ten year olds. So I'm rocking my scene, to say the least!
This week was absolutely tragic. Absolutely. Tragic. Transfer calls were on Saturday, and guess who has bad news. Yep. The party's over! Sister Orozco is leaving for Lavalle, abandoning me up here in the greatest of the Great White North. And guess what Sister Cutler will be doing. TRAINING!!! For the zillionth time! Gosh, they keep giving me missionaries to ruin until I learn how to get it right! I'm beyond sad to be losing Sister Orozco (like, beyond sad. Tears and Oreo binges type of sad. I know, we're pathetic...). But! It will be fun to train a new little fledgling. My goodness. If the mission is any indicator of what my future life will be like, I'm going to be birthing babies left and right when I get home! Crayzay. Anyway, that's the bittersweet news of the week. Let's get on to my adventures!
This week really was insanity. I did something incredibly stupid that I never, EVER in my wildest dreams thought would happen to me. So Sister Orozco and I hopped in our car to go to Walmart to buy some groceries for our little old investigator Lucie one fine morning here in Quebec City. And I'm just cruising along in my beautiful red car, thinking about how apt and amazing I am as a missionary. We're driving up an incredibly steep hill, when suddenly I'm pushing on the gas pedal and NOTHING is happening. To make a longer story less long, I ran the car completely, COMPLETELY out of gas. Ha ha whoops! We sat there for a good five minutes in panic, calling the zone leaders to rescue us, but to no avail. There you have an anglophone and a spanglophone in the middle of the road, on a hill, with no sense between the two of them to get themselves out of a pickle. And the whole time I kept thinking, "How do I say, 'I'm stupid and I ran out of gas!' in French?" But, since we're missionaries, we said a prayer and then our brains started working again. For a time. Then I spilled gas all over everyone and everything and my skirt went flying up Marilyn Monroe style at the side of the road. That was a pleasant sight! Ha ha I am so incredibly embarrassed. All is well now, though! Thought you might enjoy that little slice of drama.
Another slice of awkward for ya. For district study this week we had a mock negotiation, some jeu de role cooked up by Harvard. Like a mock debate. I was the environmentalist, and (bragging moment!) needless to say I kicked everyone's trash. Those elders be IMPRESSED! Ha ha I'm the world's worst missionary, but hey, FINALLY everyone was able to see that I'm not a complete yo-yo. But anyway, that's not the story. After I dominated the meeting and kept those greedy money mongers from destroying the delicate ecology of the east coast, we had our traditional district lunch. Now, little something about our D-Study lunches. Elders are AWKWARD. Like, beyond awkward. Our district lunches average about two awkward silences per minute. So Sister Orozco and I cooked up this idea to get the elders talking about SOMETHING with us. The plan would have worked flawlessly, but Sister Orozco soooo did not have my back. Sister Orozco starts with her usual, "So... (cricket chirps..) any good jokes? ...(more cricket chirps...)." And then I followed up with what I thought was the best conversation starter on the planet. "...No? (cricket... cricket...)..Well then.... (chirp... chirp....)... Any good first kiss stories?" SHUT. DOWN. I kid you not, I have never seen such a mass exodus from the table! Elders were avoiding the awkwardness left and right, getting up, walking to the kitchen for no reason, going to the drinking fountain, you name it. ANYTHING to avoid my completely inappropriate and scandalous question. Aaah! Ridiculous. I felt like such a harlot for even bringing up such a topic. I am honestly at a loss. How on earth are these elders ever going to get married when they get back? If you ask me, I'm doing them a favor. They just don't know it yet. I will keep trying, but gosh. SOMEONE has to thing of a conversation starter for me that won't offend these little 18 year old boys!
The rest of the week was a riot, as always. Just an average week with Dora (me) and the map (Sister Orozco) and Swiper (the Zone Leaders, for swiping all of our clicks). On Sundaywe went to visit our favorite investigator Guy in the hospital. He has had surgery after surgery, which prevents him from being baptized. But gosh, this guy is so solid! It gave us the chance to go down to Old Quebec, so we got to teach a lesson by two large windows overlooking the most glorious view of Vieux Quebec. It was perfection. The cathedral bells were all chiming in unison and everything. I seriously LOVE this place! Such a dream. This afternoon we're going back to Old Quebec for Sister Orozco's last P-Day here, and we'll probably bring Guy some Tim Horton's while we're there. Last night we had dinner with our favorite, favorite family in the ward (The Rodhains). Aaaah. So, so sad. Sister Orozco and I just sat there crying as Frere Rodhain talked about how much we had both helped each other change in the last six weeks. Sister Orozco really is an amazing companion. I'm going to miss her more than I can even describe! On the way home we drove through the mountains under a beautiful full moon, belting a Jericho Road song about a missionary leaving his girlfriend at the top of our lungs. I'm telling you, we're the most pathetic bunch on the planet! But it was a good way to end the week. We built our last fort of the transfer, only to have it collapse on us completely in the middle of the night. I literally almost died. But we were laughing so hard that we couldn't move, so we just laughed ourselves back to sleep and slept in the rubble.
Well, I'll keep y'all updated about next week and my new greenie! I'm excited to be training again. Also, BIG SHOUT OUT to Grandma Nelson for sending me the most delightful lotion from Bath and Body Works! Midnight Pomegranate is my next fave, so perfect choice! Dark Kiss was probably too inappropriate for a sista anyway. BUT THANK YOU! I LOVE IT!!! And also, SHOUT OUT to my mommy for the wonderful 4th of July package! It takes FOREVER for me to receive my mail up here! But we were in heaven! And we are sooooo fat now! I think we consumed everything the night of transfer calls. Whoops! Ha ha anyway, I hope everyone has a wonderful week! I love you and miss you all more than words can describe. Peace and blessings to you all! BISES!!!!