Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Claudia Is Back

Hello, dear ones! How is my fabulous group of loved ones back home
doing? Can I just say that I really just need to SEE you all already?
My goodness. Time is hastening. I'm hastening my butt into gear as
well because six weeks to sexy is going to be over before I even have
time to mentally prepare for it! Today we went on a beautiful morning
run along the St. Lawrence (St-Laurent) river. It was breathtaking!
It's definitely motivation to get me out to run more often, but...
something about yoga and not leaving my house at 6:30 in the morning
is just SO tempting. It's game time though. The Relief Society has
somehow gotten a hold of my arms and I'm a jiggly mess. No more
excuses. Nike... JUST DO IT!

Okay, so this week was just as stressful as all get out. Not to
complain, but yeah. I was really stressed. On Tuesday we did EXCHANGES
with the dear sisters of Montreal South. I LOVE going on exchanges
with Sister Jordan because we have scarily similar tastes, so the
majority of the split is spent jabbering away till the cows come home.
And that is EXACTLY what we did. We stayed up WAAAAAY too late talking
about our fears of dating and men and being married for eternity. She
has this plan that she's going to apostatize and start a Mormon
nunnery, and I am SO in. It's just terrifying to think that one day
very soon I'm going to have to make eye contact with boys my age and
give them friendly hugs instead of handshakes. Hm. So we cried over
that for several hours until finally drifting off to sleep. The next
day we worked in the mission office together and I shredded paper for
literally four hours straight. Put that on my job resume! I'm a pro

Then on Wednesday we had a combined birthday party after district
meeting for Sister Orozco, Elder Lanning, and Elder Hastings. Everyone
had birthdays back to back, which meant that we all had to eat Tim
Horton's muffins, Krispy Kreme donuts, and chocolate chip cookies in
one sitting. "YUMMY!" said my stomach an hour later... NOT. It was fun
to be with the best district in the world one last time. We took a boy
band picture together that I WILL be sending home. We're all too
good-looking for words. It's just something you'll all have to gaze
at. Afterward we went and helped our ward mission leader with his
garden, which is literally my new favorite hobby. I love gardening!
Mom! I'm going to weed the garden for you and plant for you EVERY DAY!
I promise! Maybe I shouldn't announce this publicly in case I change
my mind later...Intheeevening we went and had dinner with the Bishop
and his family, my favorite Londoner family EVER. Their daughter
Sister May is coming home this transfer, and I have no doubt in my
mind that she is going to become our third companion for the rest of
the summer. I certainly hope so! Anyway, the Bishop is basically a
British-Jamaican version of Dad. It's uncanny. Haha. Every time I see
him I just miss my pops.

On Thursday it was back to exchanges, this time in my old area of
Montreal West! Heavennnn! I absolutely ADORE going back there. I knew
my way around perfectly, which made me excited for the day that I get
to take family or friends or whoever wants to come back  with me on a
grand tour of Montreal. And you'll never BELIEVE who I got to see...
eh hem... does anyone remember the adventures of Claudia and Haseem?
Well, in case you don't remember, Claudia is this insane less active
that I absolutely love to death that tells the most... interesting
stories. Last year when I was in Montreal she had this imagined love
affair going on with her helper, a man more than half her age named
Haseem. Watching all of it unfold was literally the creepiest/most
delightful experience of my life. I can't wait till I'm a novelist and
I can write my own version of their story. Anyway, this woman loves
me. And on Thursday I got to go back and see her!!! Oh, how I
REJOICED! Nothing has changed. NOTHING has changed. Except for the
fact that Haseem busted out of there and she is now able to walk
around, whereas before she was supposedly on her death bed. We walked
arm and arm for a mile to the grocery store, and she recounted the
same stories that I had so dearly longed to hear this past year. Ha
ha. The best moment of my life, even if my arms were tired and sweaty
from being chained to her for an hour. It was nice to know that she
missed me and talked about me often while I was gone. I guess I made
an impact in someone's life since I've been out here? That was
encouraging! THEN the day just got even better. After Claudia Sister
Canady and I jetted over to see the DeSerres family (literally my
FAVORITE family ever) and spend some time with them. I honestly feel
like I never even left Montreal! Except for the fact that their
daughter talksnow, whereas before she would just lie on her adorable
belly and look like a cute little angel. Ah! Time flies! I don't like
it! But it was a joy to be with them. I also called my old
investigator Vince just for fun. Ha ha. He was nice, but he says he
wants to go to the Catholic church because they aren't as strict as us
Mormons. Lol. He invited me out for coffee and then he said, "But oh
wait, you don't drink coffee." And laughed his head off! Grrrr... haha
it was funny, I wasn't offended. I don't get offended as easily as I
used to. You're all about to see a new me! Anyway, it was a super fun
day. I'm glad I had the chance to go back and see some of the people I

By the time Friday rolled around Sister Orozco and I had a million
stressful things happen, so we decided to consult OUR sister training
leader, a little someone named Tim Horton. Ha ha. We binged on muffins
and then took a peaceful walk by the river, because honestly, we were
just exhausted and emotionally drained. Whilst destressing though we
actually met a SUPER cool potential named Ed. He was like a Canadian
version of Dan Sanberg. He was on his way to his writing spot where he
is currently in the process of writing a screenplay. He's seriously
awesome. I'm sure now he's going to include a part about two beautiful
sister missionaries crossing his path. After our chat with Ed we took
some fun pics and just relaxed from a ridiculously stressful week.
That evening we were BLESSED to have the opportunity to meet with our
new friend Marina! We stayed there for... well... awhile... and she
told us her life story about living in Israel. She is honestly the
coolest person I have ever met on my mission, if not my LIFE. She is
super interested in our message and is now reading the Book of Mormon.
We'll let you know how that goes. I just love having these
opportunities to meet fascinating people 24/7.

THEN on Saturday we went out with the infamous Cedric of Montreal to a
birthday lunch for Sister Orozco and another sister in the ward.
Cedric refers to me as Sister Feminist and is always trying to bate
me. I honestly can't explain this man to you all, but if you served in
the Canada Montreal Mission and don't know who Cedric is, well, then
you're a nobody. ;) Ha ha. So.... there was that. Then we had our
transfer calls.... and.... DRUM ROLL.... I'm DYING in LaSalle! With
Sister Orozco! I could not be happier. I've been herefor SIX months. I
still can't believe it. My time in Quebec seemed sooooo much longer,
but both will end up being the same. This ward is like my family now,
so I will be devastated when I have to leave. But the good news is
that I'm being transferred into the PV 4th ward of Provo, which is BY
FAR the best ward in the Provo, UT mission. So I can't complain!
Truly, I can't. I'm excited to see everyone for the two weeks that
I'll be there until they kick me out and send me to YSA. As IF. I
don't have time to be a young single adult.

Alright, so that was basically the week that was. Sorry to flood you
all with tons of meaningless information. I rarely have time to write
in my journal at night so I just document everything here. Deal with
it! I hope you're all doing remarkably well. I know you are all
enjoying your summer and the privilege you have to go swimming when it
gets hot, so take a dive in the pool in my hono(u)r! I love you all to
the moon and the stars and the heavens! See you shortly. :)


Fiesta and Father's Day

Hello, lovelies! Before I do ANYTHING else, let me just say...


To all of my favorite father figures in my life, but most importantly to....

I just want the world to know that my DAD is the VERY best one out there. THE VERY BEST! Pops, I hope you know just how much I love and adore you. Thank you for being my example and my light. Thank you for being the funniest person alive and charming me to death with your intelligent, unique sense of humor. I love you forever and cannot WAIT to get my papa bear hug from you in just a few more weeks. Thank you for your wisdom and for your good soul. I am one blessed daughter. :) Happy Fathers Day!

So the week that was.... Sister Orozco's birthday! We had a good, good time. To be honest, it was just a crazy week. We were entirely depleted of energy by Sunday, but we had some positive experiences and happy times. Just TIRED as all get out! On Tuesday we went and did a blitz with some sisters in their area and went around finding people. It was fun! I went up to this incredibly handsome man sitting in the shade outside the hospital. He was on his break, which in my opinion is the perfect time for people to chat with missionaries. He was SO cool. And dreamy. And super atheist. But, like the majority of atheists that I've preached to out here, he was incredibly kind to us. The best part of all was that the next lady we talked to patted us on the shoulder before we could even speak and said, "Um, no thank you. I'm Catholic." AND TURNED AROUND AND WALKED AWAY! Ahhhh.... love me them true Christians. ;)

On Thursday we had Sister Rios and Sister Gonzalez come in to spend the night before zone conference the next day. SLEEPOVER!!! We stayed up WAAAAAAAAY too late... (shhhhh...). 10:31...ish? ;) Sure, we'll leave it at that. It was so nice to have my chicas over and be able to chat and laugh and have a good time. Missions are a non-stop party, in my opinion.

On Friday we had zone conference! My last one, too! :( Sister Orozco and I gave a training on finding people, and how we need to talk WITH people rather than TO them. FANCY THAT! In our mission we used to go around blurting out the name of the church as fast as we could so that we could have fifty contacts a day, and then usually people would run away and not want to talk to us. Well, I never liked being pushy with my beliefs, so I always felt like a bad missionary when I would chat people up and get to know them BEFORE bringing up what I was doing here. WHAT?! The result was that a lot of missionaries are afraid of talking with people because they think they need to teach them the restoration in five minutes and be weird. Forget that! So President Patrick had us give a training about our purpose as missionaries, and how everyone is a child of God, and how we need to discern how to talk with people instead of just showing up and yapping at them. It was an AMAZING training. Yes, I'm bragging, but I think it helped a lot of missionaries see that it's okay to... well, be yourself? There was this moment in our training where we had everyone take off their badge and look at it. Everyone was bawling! Well, many were bawling. But me especially. I can't tell you how much it means to me to wear that badge. When I have to take it off for good I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. Gaaahhh. TRUNKY! Sister missions should be longer. Anyway, I digress. During our training we also did a role play about how to talk with people rather than to them. I was the person being contacted, and somehow I ended up acting out my true Sylvia, non-missionary self throughout the whole thing. It was interesting to see how Sylvia would react to missionaries. When they approached me I was jamming to Firework by Katy Perry (is that song even cool anymore?), and I started ranting to them about my Ophelia obsession, mostly just confusing everyone, but it was fun. Then those sly sister missionaries asked me for my digits after they had buttered me up, and I told them that my number was 867-5309. President Patrick was crying he was laughing so hard! El oh el. The role play was supposed to be spiritual, but I pretty much turned it into the Sylvia Show. Whoops. Then when I told the sisters that my name was Sylvia, the whole crowd of missionaries gasped. Indeed, I had been impersonating myself the entire time! It felt so good to be me!!!  Ha ha not sure where I was going with that story, but it was one of my greatest mission moments. The greatest/saddest moment of all though was when I got up at the end of the zone conference to bear my final testimony. In our mission its a tradition that the missionaries who are going home bear their testimony at their last zone conference. It was bittersweet to say the least, and I never, EVER thought that moment would come. Ugh. It really put things into perspective for me. It was special because our zone conference was held in Montreal ward's chapel, where I bore my first testimony as a missionary over a year ago on a cold, Canadian winter's day in February. It was heart-warming and heart-wrenching to see how far that frightened little girl had come, the experiences I had been blessed with, and how much I'd grown since that first Sunday in the mission field. Wow, I'm getting emotional just thinking about it. I stood up there and cried and cried. I am amazed at what has become of my testimony because of serving a mission. When I bore testimony that I know Christ lives, I felt for the first time just how true and meaningful those words were to me. Truly, it was a day and an experience I will never forget. 

After seven hours of zone conference we got roped into this super complicated move. The ward kind of dropped the ball about getting people to come help this woman move from her apartment, so us and the elders got stuck in a very complicated, stressful situation. No one from the ward came to help! We were dying! And crying! So I had to put on my big girl pants and call up leaders and ask for help because the elders were too afraid. Surprise! No one else came to help, so I ended up arranging all of the moving details and getting that dang thing underway myself. I'm invincible! And a power. It was fun to hang out with the elders, but I was pretty mad that the situation got dumped on the missionaries. We had to cancel teaching appointments and everything! Grrrr. Whatever, I'm over it. We were super blessed afterward though to have a lesson with one of our investigators, and it went exceptionally well. She is so cool! We went to her beautiful home and listened to the rain outside while discussing the gospel. My kind of Friday night! It all turned out well, but I can tell you that that day was one of the most stressful days of my mission. 

THEN on Saturday it was Sister Orozco's BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!! What a special treat that was. I have been her companion on BOTH of her birthdays. Lucky her! Ha ha. It was a super great day. We didn't go knocking on her birthday like we did last year. ;) The whole ward rolled out the red carpet and tons of people invited us over to celebrate! It was totally fun. We did some Zumba in the morning and all of the Latinas were making fun of me because I can't move my hips. What e're! I can't help it that I'm CLASSICALLY TRAINED! It was super fun though. We didn't have time to shower because of all of the birthday plans, so we walked around like sweaty, sexy beasts the entire day. Our sweet, kind, ADORABLE Sri Lankan family that I talked about last week invited us over for lunch! Gosh, the two little girls in that family are the sweetest. And Sri Lankan food is DIVINE! So there we are enjoying a nice, lovely visit with this cute family, when, just as we're about to open up the Book of Mormon to share a spiritual thought, IN WALK THE TWO SRI LANKAN BIBLE BASHERS! What are two young sista sistas supposed to do?! I could not BELIEVE what was happening! Haha. So I handed Sister Orozco my Bible and she shared her favorite Bible scripture instead. She talked about authority, but I think the message was lost on them. The women were so overjoyed by our Bible message though that one of them wanted to give Sister Orozco a birthday prayer. She says, "I give you birthday prayer now." And Sister Orozco's like, "Okay!" So we all are about to kneel, and she says, "Stay where you are!" And walks over and lays her hand upon her head and gives her a blessing in Sri Lankan! Ha ha ha. I was able to pick out, "Shabatneee humuna humna namasta HALLELUJAH OROZCO! HALLELUJAH CUTLER!" or something like that. Ha ha. SO funny. The sweet little girls also gave her a little statue of the Virgin Mary for her birthday present, which is now proudly displayed in our kitchen window for idol worship. Uh oh. Ha ha. It was a super crazy experience, but we loved every dang minute of it. After boppping around from house to house that day we ended our night in the East end of Montreal because one of the sister missionaries was sick. East end of Montreal = Italians. Italians had just won in the World Cup. Can you say PANDEMONIUM?!?!? We almost DIED! World Cup in Montreal is quite possibly the BEST thing ever because of the melange of cultures. Every single time there's a game sirens are going off and people are going crazy, depending on which neighborhood you're in. I can't get enough of this place! Pray that I stay safe during the World Cup, please. :)

Alright, so that's the week that was. There were a million other things that happened but this letter is getting ridiculously long and I'm sure you're all bored. I'm just having such a great time! What can I say? Gotta make every moment count! Well, the biggest news of all is that I love you all and miss you TERRIBLY. Hold on tight, spider monkeys! You'll be seeing me soon enough. Until then, love yous forever and ever. Have a fabulous summer week! Smooooch!


Sister Syl

Friday, June 13, 2014

A Week to Remember

Summertiiiiiiiiime, and the sista is happy. :) Hello, cuddle bears! How are my lovely friends and family members doing? I hope you're all enjoying this gorgeous summer. Ah! Summer is such a trunky time! I just want to go swimming and watch Katy Perry 3D and do absolutely nothing all the day long. What a great life! I hope you're all doing just that in my honor. 

This week was full of so many amazing moments that I honestly don't even know where to begin. How about we start with last Monday? So last week we had a sisters P-Day with some of the coolest sisters around. We went to see St. Joseph's cathedral with Sister Landeen, Sister Rubio, Sister Rios, and Sister Gonzalez. Wow. Can you say GLORIOUS?! I've never had such a great time in all of my life. It was nice to not have to do an activity with weird elders for once haha. We took about a billion seflies and got mistaken for nuns just about everywhere we went. It was great! I'll be sending home PLENTY of selfies for you all to see, don't worry. I think I have a problem. Anyway, it was just a beautiful day. Perfect temperatures, nice breezes to blow my skirt around and make passersby feel uncomfortable, and wonderful company. Sister Landeen and I were enjoying a nice view of Montreal from the top of the cathedral when she saw an airplane in the distance and asked, "Sister Cutler, how far away do you think that airplane is?" To which I replied, "I'd say about two months..." SOB FEST! Aaaaah. Nothing makes you trunkier than looking at airplanes in the sky with your MTC companion. Haha so ridiculous. Missions come to an end apparently?

On Tuesday I went on exchanges with Sister Gonzales, who I decided is me in Latina form. We had the most fantastic exchange ever, complete with a thunderstorm and Cotton Candy ice cream. It just doesn't get better than that! I got to make a long voyage out to Cornwall, Ontario as well to pick up Sister Orozco, which was the most heavenly drive I've taken in a long time. I live in a beautiful place! The rain brought every single living green thing to life. I couldn't help but imagine that I was starring in Lord of the Rings as some elfin creature of sorts. Ha ha. My dream!

Okay. Then there was Wednesday, the strangest day of my life. Everything started out great. We went to breakfast with Sister Landeen and Sister Rubio before district study at this Quebecois version of Denny's. It reminded me of midnight trips to Denny's with my friends, and obviously I got a little trunky. But that's the last time I'll mention trunkiness in this letter. Anyway, the day started off great. So that evening Sister Orozco and I had to go to a pass off lesson with the sisters from Montreal ward. They were giving us this adorable Sri Lankan family to teach, so we went over together for the lesson to make the transition as smooth as possible. This family = adorable and so incredibly kind and humble. Their Sri Lankan neighbors = menaces to society and the biggest bible bashing women I've ever met. Honestly, this was a lesson from the depths of hell. Hahaha. I can't even explain. There we are trying to explain what the Book of Mormon is to the sweetest family ever, when all of the sudden the two ladies get incredibly feisty and worked up because it's not the Bible and we're wrong and we're Satan worshippers and blah blah blah blah blah. We then spend the next twenty minutes in complete astonishment and confusion and pure tension as these women start bible bashing away with the poor father of this family. He was defending us and the Book of Mormon with all of his might... well, we think. Not sure. The whole Bible bash was in Tamil, believe it or not, so I honestly had no idea what was going on. I just sat there watching in astonishment, wishing I had some popcorn or something to make it more enjoyable. So we're just desperately trying to figure out what to say, but all I keep hearing is... "Habatneegatnee shebinga sebanalaba MORMON BOOOOOK.. baling shaning lagatneeee." Ummm.... so will you pray to know if the Book of Mormon is true? Ha ha. So great. THEN. My favorite part. One of the sisters we were with had had ENOUGH. She then proceeded to do the most courageous thing I have ever seen. She is somewhat of a shy sister, but my oh my. This was like a reenactment of that scene in the Joseph Smith movie when Joseph stands up to the mobsters and screams, "SILENCE! SILENCE YE FIENDS OF THE INFERNAL PIT!" Classic. So she stands up and is like, "I feel.... there is tension in this room...... (staring everyone down) I don't know what has been said, but I just want to testify that the Book of Mormon is TRUE!!!" Oh my gosh. She seriously deserved a standing ovation. I have never seen such courage from a missionary! It was AWESOME! She just stared those two Bible bashers DOWN! I literally felt like I was in a movie. Words cannot describe. Anyway, the Bible basher agreed to leave us with a prayer. 20 minutes of Tamil mixed with Hallelujah, and then we were out of there. Ha ha. Seriously an experience I will never forget.

But oh, there's more. On Saturday night we were doing some service for our dear sister Karen. We agreed to go to her apartment once a week and check her mailbox for her while she's out of town. Sister Orozco and I had just been talking that day about how service is a great way to find people. Well. Get this. As we're walking out of her apartment this SUPER cool woman from Uzbekistan who is friends with Karen stops us and says, "Oh, you're the girls from the church that visit Karen. She told me that you would be doing her mail for her. That's so nice!" She then proceeds to invite us to see her apartment! We're like, "Uh... okay!" Both looking at each other like... what is happening? Who is this cool lady? Where is she taking us? We then spent the next TWO hours talking with this AMAZING woman about her life! She said she was baptized in the river Jordan while living as an immigrant in Israel. She sings, is a personal trainer for the elderly, is a holistic food expert, breast cancer survivor, and artist. Seriously, this woman is exactly the person I want to be when I grow up! We shared Mormon.org with her and talked about the Plan of Salvation a little. She said she wants to invite us back to share more of our beliefs while doing yoga by the river. Like a melange of spirituality and exercise and tranquility. Haha. This woman is ME in thirty years! Not even kidding! Or how I'd like to be, anyway. It was honestly one of the most enchanting evenings of my mission. Such an interesting woman. She was incredibly kind and open and spiritually in tune. I will never, ever forget her. EVER. We really are going to try to go do yoga with her. Any ideas on how to teach yoga and the plan of salvation at the same time? :) Let me know! Ha ha. Such a cool woman. I think I've met the person I was supposed to meet out here on my mission. Wow. Pray that she gets baptized! I don't know how we're going to tell her to get baptized the way Jesus got baptized. She'll be like, "Yes, I know. I already got baptized in the same place he got baptized." And we'll be like, "Yeah, actually, you need to come get baptized in this tank of water in our chapel because we have the authority." It will work, right?! 

Well, that was the fabulous week that was! I am one of the most blessed missionaries on this planet! Words cannot describe how much I adore being a missionary, especially here in this unique province. I hope you are all enjoying another fabulous week of summer! PLEASE go swimming in my honor! You have no idea what you HAVE! Make the most of these beautiful summer months! I love you all to the stars and beyond and hope you have a magnificent week! Peace and blessings! Bisou bisou bisou!


Soeur Cutler

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Many Are Called, ... But Few Stay Skinny

Email from  May 26th

The "Juan

Hello, dearest family and friends! I hope you all still love me and miss me. :* Well, what can I say? Spring is in full throttle and I am just LOVING life! It freaks me out a bit when I look outside in the morning and its summer because I know I'll be coming home in the summer. And then I have a mini panic attack. But then I get back to my yoga and all is well. Still. Time is flying at a terrifying rate! You'll be seeing my cute, chubby face in no time! That will be the day.
Alright, so now that Sister Orozco and I are back together on the scene in Montreal, CRAZY things have been happening. Haha. Never a dull moment in this companionship. So, story number one. We were trying to pass by a media referral but we couldn't find a parking spot near his house, so we decided to park at our returning member's house about half an hour before our appointment with her and just walk to the media referral. Well, we were out of the car for literally ten seconds when we found this cute little elderly lady in her nightgown picking up rocks on the sidewalk. Obviously we went up and tried to help her, but she was just as feisty as ever. She turned out to be this super cool lady with a lot of opinions about life and religion. She was very spiritual, just not religious. We had an amazing half hour conversation with her and finally she agreed to take a Book of Mormon. I had felt prompted to bring one with me, so luckily we had one right there. Well. Just as we're exchanging contact information, her grandson's bus pulls up. Two days before we talked to this kid who asked us to give him a Book of Mormon but we didn't have one on us. What do you know? In a completely different neck of the woods the SAME kid happens to be on her grandson's school bus. So he pokes his head out the window and is like, "Hey. Where's my Book of Mormon?" So at this point the lady is just bewildered, but determined not to give up her own copy that we just gave her. I run as fast as lightening to the car and rummage up our last Book of Mormon and hand it to the kid through the window. THEN get this. The bus driver is this cute Indian man, and he's watching the whole scene go down. So he says to me through the doors, "Mormon...... It's true?" And I'm just like, "Yeah, it's true!" So he says, "I want book. Give me book." MALHEUREUSEMENT.... we didn't have any left! Aaaah! And the kid and the little old lady were not ABOUT to give up their own copies to this man. We promised we'd give one to the kid to give to him, and he drove away happy. Can you imagine though? In the space of three minutes, THREE people were just CLAMORING for Book of Mormons! Ha ha! It was the funniest thing I've ever seen. I imagine that's what it must be like in South America. But Quebec? NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS! It was an experience I will NEVER forget.

Okay, another experience I will never, ever forget. Get ready for a funny story. Alright, so in Mission Leadership Council this Friday President Patrick was giving us a training on finding people. He shared this story about a man who waved at him and his companion on his mission in Italy and how they never turned around to talk to him. Ten years later he went back and that man was the Branch President. SO. The moral of the story is that if someone self contacts you, you MUST go contact them. Well, this is what leads me to MY story. The next day Sister Orozco and I were driving around LaSalle when this man starts waving at us. We're just like, "Aw, how sweet." And we keep driving. Well, President Patrick's story came back to haunt me, and the spirit was just like, "Turn the car around NOW." So I pull this move and just flip that car right back to where the man was walking. Well, as we're approaching we see that maybe he might be drunk. So Sister Orozco is like... "Hmmm... let's not." But by that point I was already out of the car. Haha. Okay, so this story is OBVIOUSLY something I will be reenacting when I get home, but I'll try to convey it the best I can through writing. I say, "Hello, how are you doing?" And he just looks at me with this glare and says, "....Why? .... WHY?" And I'm like, "Uh... well... we're missionaries, and we share a message about Jesus Christ. We saw you waving at us and we wanted to come say hi to you." Sister Orozco starts talking to him and he just says, "Oh, so you believe in God?" And we're like, "Yeah! Do you believe in God?" And he just looks at Sister Orozco and says, "I believe that she is beautiful. Do you believe that she's beautiful?" And I'm like, "Well, yeah I do!" And he just looks at me and says, "Get that STUPID look off your face." This is where I wish you could see me reenact the story, because being the feisty one that I am, I pull the most RIDICULOUS face at him. Haha. Couldn't help myself. He just yells, "STOP IT. Hey, you (back to Sister Orozco). If you want to talk to someone, go preach to your sisters over there." He points to these Indian girls on a balcony nearby. EVERYONE in the city of Montreal thinks Sister Orozco is Indian. It was literally the funniest thing of my life. But I had to stay in character because I'm a missionary. So this dude keeps saying, "Namaste" to Sister Orozco, and since I'm a missionary I'm trying to figure out his religious background. I ask, "Are you Buddhist?" And he just scowls at me and says, "No. I'm the Messiah." And I'm like, "Hmmm. Interesting. Are you sure you aren't Buddhist?" And he just gives me the deadliest glare. Well, poor Sister Orozco is just trying with all her might to give him a Restoration pamphlet. She says, "We have something for you." And he says, "WHAT?! Your DIAPER?!?" Hahahaha. Haven't heard an insult like that since the fourth grade. So I ask, "What's your name?" And he's like, "WHY.... WHY?" Then he looks at me and goes... "Juan. Juan Martinez." "OH! Nice to meet you Juan Martinez." "I'm not Juan. I'm the One. Do you believe in One?" And I say, "Uh... I believe in three...." And he just gives me this look. He says, "Do you believe you're beautiful?" And I was like, "Well, obviously." And he's like, "You're so beautiful..... What's my name?" And we say... "Juan Martinez?" And he says, "NO, what's my FIRST name?" And we're like... "Uh... Juan?" And then he just throws his death glare at us again. "No. I am the One." And I'm like, "Oh, the Juan!" AND THEN. Get this. HE SPITS ON US!!!!! Okay, exaggerating a little. He spat on our car, but he directed it at me. So he says, "Do you believe that I'm the Messiah? Do you believe that I am the Christ? GET THAT STUPID LOOK OFF YOUR FACE!" And I just look him straight in the eyes, trying not to lose my composure, I say, "Ummm... well... I don't think Jesus Christ would spit on our car...." Oh my heavens. Was Juan Martinez ever LIVID! So we hurried and got in the car as fast as we could. Shouldn't have provoked him! As I'm trying to get the keys in the ignition, he just pokes his head right in the window and says, "One day the devil's going to approach you. And he's going to be good looking. Don't you forget Juan Martinez. DON'T YOU FORGET HIM! I am the MESSIAH!" ANNNNND then I stepped on it and got the HECK out of there. We proceeded to scream for a good five minutes and then laugh and laugh and laugh as we reenacted the scene twenty times over. SO creepin.

Anyway, to make a long story short, there was a reason we were supposed to meet him. I was prompted to turn back, so I did. The next day I bore my testimony about how God loves all of his children, even Juan Martinez. And Juan needed an opportunity to hear the gospel just as much as the next person. I invited everyone to be that missionary for their friends. At the very least their friends won't spit on them if they try to share the gospel with them. Hopefully. Moral of the story, the worth of souls is great in the sight of God. Juan was hostile and horrible to us, but at least I was able to testify of Jesus Christ. It was an interesting week, to say the least. :)

I am doing well! I promise to stop being sassy to hostile, insane people. But that's what makes missionary work interesting! The rest of the day we talked to some of the kindest people I have ever met, so Heavenly Father sends us tender mercies along the way in the midst of harrowing experiences. Anyway, I hope you all have a FABULOUS week! I'm just living the dream out here. I never want it to end. Sorry for the SUPER long story. I hope you got a little bit of a laugh out of it. If not, I promise to reenact it when I come home. Love you all lots and lots and LOTS! Missing the heck out of yous guys every single DAY! Peace and blessings.

Soeur Cutler

Email from June 2

Many Are Called, ... But Few Stay Skinny

Hello, cute newts! How is my favorite P-town posseeeee doing? Ugh. Can I just tell you all (y'all) how much I am MISSING you? It's unbearable at times. Truly, it is. Trunkyness is REAL. And it frightens me. But now worries, I am STILL having the time of my life and loving every single minute of my mission. I really can't imagine it ending, and the thought if it ending makes me quite gloomy. But in other news. Spring is SO beautiful out here! I am loving every minute of this weather. There's green everywhere and the magnolia blossoms have now faded. Summer is on its way! It makes me nervous, but happy all at once. I'm just a whirlwind of emotions right now!
Alright, so the highlights of the week... well. So far Hermana Orozco and I have managed to have something RIDICULOUS happen every week since we became companions. Here's the story of this week. On Thursday I FINALLY went on exchanges with my long-lost MTC companion, Sister Landeen. It. Was. HEAVENLY! I love that woman to death. It was nice to actually teach together in the real missionary world. At the end of our exchange we decided to have our interview along the river and enjoy the beautiful view and luscious breeze. Well, somewhere along the way I dropped our cell phone. After we unexchanged Sister Orozco and I raced like mad to find it, but to no avail. C'est pas grave-luhhh... it's only like the second phone I've lost since I've been in this area. Anyway, we go to pick up our chaperone Lawanda for our next appointment, and when we get there she has the elders on the other line. The elders then inform us that some CRAZY stole our phone and told them he'd give it back to us for $100. Ain't nobody got time for that! The elders thought he had to be kidding, so they agreed to meet with him on the street he indicated. Well, I knew that this fool was a crackhead. So I told the elders we'd be over there to handle the situation ourselves. For all we knew Juan Martinez probably picked up the phone and held it for ransom. We head over there and meet the elders at the assigned spot. No phone, no Juan Martinez, no crackhead, NOTHING. I was SO mad. The elders said they called him when they got there but told him they didn't have the $100 (good, honest elders), so the guy said, "No money? NO PHONE!" And hung up! He was holding a $20 flip phone for ransom from missionaries! Who does that? I told those elders to call up this dude again. I was going to deal with him. .... He didn't answer. So we called a feisty sister in our ward to deal with him. Hahaha. Funniest thing of my life. She's just like, "Oh don't worry. By the time I'm done with this sicko he's going to .... *expletive *expletive *expletive." She calls him up and tells him she's a lawyer (by the way, she's not) and that there's a GPS on our phone (by the way, there's not) and that if he doesn't give it back to us she's going to knock every single door in the streets of Verdun until she finds him, and then he'll wish he'd never been born. LOLz. Funniest woman ever! To make a long story short--we didn't get our phone back. But we laughed our heads off with the elders and had quite an adventure that night!

The next item of business. Sister Orozco and I will become youtube celebs by the time we're home. So Hermana had an eye infection this week, which meant we had to sit for two hours at the clinic waiting for the doctor. Well, what are two sista sistas supposed to do for two hours in a doctor's office besides listen to the radio and go through every single picture they've ever taken on their mission? We decided that the best use of our time would be to make up a SONG! And oh my heavens... it is literally the funniest thing of my life. Every time we sing it people are in TEARS. I'm not even making this up. It will DEFINITELY be on youtube when we get back, and yes, it will get a million mormon views. It's called, "Many Are Called, But Few Stay Skinny," set to the tune of "A Whole New World." It's a song documenting the many changes sister missionaries go through on their mission, *cough cough* gaining weight *cough cough.* Coming to a facebook page near you. It will be the greatest homecoming present ever, besides me, of course.

Anyway, that was the week that was! We had stake conference this weekend and yodeled out a song with the Relief Society. Love me some RS vibratto! It was a Canada-wide broadcast with Elder Holland, President Eyring, Linda K. Burton, and someone from the 70. Be jealous! We had a fun week, but plenty of trials and frustrations to get us down. On Sunday night we had a tender mercy! We were about to come home for dinner to some burnt rice that I made and some pinto beans, when my FAVE family (the Morales fam) invited us for a BBQ! Gah! I love BBQs. It was the perfect summer evening to end the most ridiculous week. I'm just having tons of fun out here and am loving every minute of this beautiful weather. I wish you could all see how beautiful it is! No worries. At least in a couple months you'll all be able to see how beautiful I am, and that's all that really matters. ;)

Love you all infinitely and I hope you're having a fantastic summer! Go get some shaved ice in my honor! I LOVE that stuff. Take care, lovers. Have a beautiful week! Missing you is easy 'cuz you're missable.