Monday, April 1, 2013

Poission D'Avril, Fools


Hello from sunny, smiling Montreal! Ha. April Fools. It's never sunny here and no one ever smiles. Still! I assure you I attempt to melt their chilly dispositions every single day. So how is my posse doing? I hope everyone had a great Easter/Passover and I hope you all enjoyed your peep/Cadbury egg sugar comas. Goodness, Easter weekend made me TRUNKY! All I wanted to do was go on Easter egg hunts and dye Easter eggs and wear a pretty Easter dress to church. I still got to be a diva this week and perform at an Easter Cantata with our fabulous missionary choir though (which I carried by the way, no surprise there). So Easter was just as great as ever! Nevertheless, eat a marshmallow peep or two and pick tulips in my honor, eh?

This week was INSANE! My greenie and I are on fire. She is seriously so great! We're having waaaay too much fun out here. Sometimes we slip up and sing songs from Les Miserables as we walk from place to place, but hey, it happens to the best of us. It's really important to enjoy simple pleasures on the mission, so I find that belting a few lines of "On My Own" isn't hurting anyone. Plus, I've gotten us lost more times than I care to admit, so sometimes it's good to sing for comfort. ESPECIALLY this week when I realized we were on a street at 8:30 at night that the elders asked us specifically not to go on after dark... Whoops. To make matters worse, my companion and I started telling each other scary stories about all of the times we've been followed home or creeped by lurkers. Yeah, worst idea EVER. But as you can see, I'm still alive this week, so all is well!

Alright, let's get to the good stuff. Story of the week! (Nay, story of my LIFE!) I've seriously been through the looney bin and back, I tell you. So here it goes. A couple weeks back the elders referred Sister Cantu and me to a potential investigator. When we visited her she was very sweet, very normal. That's why when I set up an appointment with her for a lesson this week for my cute little greenie, I thought it would be a good experience. Ohhhhh, how I was wrong. So very, very wrong. The woman says she can only meet us at 9 in the morning, so we head out to visit her apartment at the crack of dawn. My brain doesn't usually start functioning until noon, so I knew we were in for a trip. First, she gave us the wrong address. For ONE HOUR my companion and I are wandering the streets of Montreal. I take us clear out to the train tracks, and it wasn't until then that I thought, "Huh... maybe she gave us the wrong address. This doesn't look very familiar." Luckily it was a beautiful, sunny spring morning, so it wasn't entirely wasted on us. STILL. I desperately wanted to find this woman and not look like a completely disoriented fool. To make a long story short, I finally manage to find her apartment. We get to the door. Surprise! She's not there. I nearly lost it, but I needed to be strong for my precious greenie. As we're heading home feeling all dejected, we run into this lady that looks... familiar? I'm getting suspicious. We wish her a happy Easter, then move along. Suddenly she says, "WAIT! Y'all Mormons?" And we're like,  "...Yes..." MIRACLE! It turns out it was her! So she takes us back to her apartment. This is where the real trouble began. She starts telling us she had been partying all night, and from the smell of it and from the bloodshot eyes, I definitely believed her. At first it's going well though. She says she feels bad and wants to get back on the right path but she can't forgive herself. My companion and I, fresh from the MTC, are like, "Plan of Salvation!" and we're getting really excited to teach her. So we start with a prayer. After the prayer I ask, "What can we do to help you become closer to God?" This is where things turn interesting. She immediately breaks down sobbing. She leaves the room and for five minutes we hear her sobbing and muttering prayers in the other room. We just sit there like, "Uhhh... what do we do? I don't remember going over this in the MTC!" She comes back in and then keeps hugging us and saying, "Thank you, thank you." I'm thinking we're about to have the greatest missionary experience ever. Aaaaand then things get freaky. She sits us down and informs us that she is a prophetess, and that thanks to us God has again restored her powers. We're trying to be polite, but in my mind I'm thinking, "We're going to die, we're going to die!" Get this. She then proceeds to grab my hand. As you can imagine, I'm freaking out. She asks if she can read me. I'm like... "Uh-huh..., okay." She looks deep into my eyes and tells me that I'm also a prophetess,  that I'm going to go places. "Aaaah, child, not on planes, trains or automobiles. Oh no. You gonna be carried on the wings of angels! God is gonna give his little princess everything!" She said a lot of other nice things, maybe I won't go into detail. I don't want to sound apostate, but wow this woman was...perceptive. She has a gift is all I'm going to say. She then moves on to my companion. "Girl, you gonna flip and flip and flip and flip people over! You're an acrobat!" And then she sits back and starts cackling. And we just sit there like... what is going on? This woman is on crack. We politely thank her and try to move on with our lesson. She bolts up, leaves the house, and comes back two minutes later as we're trying to escape. She brings out these big speakers, plugs in her iPod and starts singing Christian rock to us for another ten minutes. Ha ha I just sat there smiling. God has a sense of humor. Anyway, don't ask us how, but we finally escaped. I'll let you know how it goes with her. She's a delight!

Other than that craziness, I think we're staying safe! We were nearly poisoned by cake that a less active baked a year ago, but I promise you I'm trying my best to stay out of danger. Missions are a TRIP! I LOVE IT! I am so happy I chose to serve a mission. Montreal is a riot. I hope everyone is doing well! SHOUT OUT to Aunt Shannon for baking us delicious cookies! They were still fresh! It was amazing. My roommates are all demanding the recipe. We are getting fat, fat, FAT! I've decided to embrace it. Thank you to everyone for all of the love and support! I am incredibly blessed. I hope everyone has a fabulous, dazzling week! Wear your brightest, hippest eye shadow in my honor! Peace and blessings!


Sis Cutler

No comments:

Post a Comment