Monday, March 18, 2013

Teen Mama

Why, hello!

How is my crew back in P-town? I hope everyone is enjoying life in the land of inexpensive cereal! ... But seriously. God bless America. It's a good thing Montreal has apples sent from heaven, otherwise I would have something to start complaining aboot, eh? Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well. Happy St. Patrick's Day yesterday! Are you all recovering from your St. Patty's Day hangovers today? I know two-thirds of the people in Montreal are.

We had quite the week this week! I hardly know where to begin. Last Monday I went with the cute little elders in my district to see Saint Joseph's Cathedral. It was beautiful! We actually have a view of it from our amazing apartment, so I gaze at it every morning as I relax and eat Jewish bagels under early morning rays of sunlight, but it was incredible to finally see it in all of its glory. Frere Andre's heart is preserved and displayed on the inside. Yeah, that's not disgusting at all. We had a wonderful day though! About half of my district is Mandarin speaking, so I'm dazed and confused a lot of the time when I'm with them, but I'm sure they're just talking about how hot Sister Cutler is.

This week we also had Sister's Conference at the mission home. The theme was "Training to Train," and I thought, "Wow, that's really hilarious. Not like I need that anytime soon, but Sister Cantu might enjoy this." Sister's Conference was FABULOUS though! It was so great to meet all of the sisters in the mission. It was basically just one giant slumber party. Let' s go, GNO! #mileycyrus (Sorry, had to). It was so wonderful to be reunited with my crew from the MTC! I love and missed them so, so much. Well, not Sister Murdoch because I see her everyday, but I still love her.

One of the highlights of the conference... remember last week when I mentioned the creeper who asked Sister Cantu on a date after speaking with her on the phone? Well, things just got a whole lot better. So we get a text from a number that says, "Call me. I need 2 talk 2 U rite away." And we have no idea who it is. We call. It is indeed our favorite investigator. So I'm like, "What do you need help with, hun?" and he launches into this full-fledged story about how a prostitute "stole" $600 from him and that he needed legal advice from us on how to get it back. You know, since missionaries are qualified for this sort of thing. And I'm like, "Uhhh... I'm not sure how well that story would hold up in a court of law." And then he asked if we would pray for him to get the money back, and Sister Cantu and I nearly died laughing. Sister Cantu recorded the whole conversation on her camera. It was UNBELIEVABLE. I think when Russel M. Nelson said, "Ask the missionaries. They can help," he would never have imagined in his wildest dreams that two sweet sisters would get embroiled in a scandal like this. But hey, good on our investigator for thinking to ask the missionaries to help him get $600 back from a prostitute, right? Ohhhh Montreal. You never know what you're going to get out here. At Sister's Conference I told President Cannon about all of the dates I've been getting. Ha ha guess who's staying as close to the mission home as possible for the rest of her mission... He told me to stay away from all of the Muslim men, but I told him that they'll find their way to me no matter what. Yeah... let's just say they're keeping a close eye on me out here. I probably should change my motto of "flirt to convert" to something else.

The rest of the week was great! We had some interesting experiences. A couple of weeks ago a Born Again Christian guy Bible bashed us into oblivion, following us around the streets and not leaving us alone. We didn't want to contend with him, so we didn't say anything. Well, this whole week we kept having all of these experiences that related to what he had been yelling at us for. We just kept saying, "Man, if only we would have been able to say these things to him!" Okay. So get this. We were out contacting this week, and we were just about to go home but decided to stay out for another five minutes and knock one more building. We ring one buzzer. We go inside. IT'S HIS HOUSE. Of all of the apartments, in a completely different area from the one that we met him, we knock HIS door. And ohhhh did Sister Cantu preach. We didn't Bible bash really, but we just stood up for what we believed in this time. And oh my gosh was he mad. We had a member with us and she was terrified, but as missionaries we feel so protected that the fear doesn't really touch us in situations like that. He was red in the face and yelling that we would be cursed, but we were glad that we had the chance to stand up for ourselves this time. Anyway. Cool story of the week.

Alright, so we should probably clear up the elephant in the room... I'm going to be a mom. Now, let me translate that out of mission lingo... I'M GOING TO START TRAINING THIS WEEK. PRAY FOR ME. I beg of you. It is going to be the blind leading the blind out here! I cannot even describe how sad I am to part from Sister Cantu, but training will be a good experience. I'm basically the youngest trainer in...a century. Ha ha not really a century, I just wanted to throw in a Harry Potter quote. But yes, I will be training someone who entered the MTC the same day as me. So wish me luck! If you don't hear from me next week it means I am probably lost in Montreal somewhere. I'm excited but incredibly nervous. It will be an adventure!

Anyway, I hope you all have a wonderful, wonderful week. SHOUT OUT to Taralyn Clark! HAPPY BIRTHDAY tomorrow, my cute little 20 year old! You are a rockstar! I sent you a birthday card a very long time ago, so be on the look out! I love everyone so, so much and miss you all like you wouldn't believe! Everyone stay healthy and stay happy! BISOU BISOU!



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